What is the secret to confidence and self esteem?

Why is it that some people seem to have all the luck? Brimming with confidence, happiness and success they have a strong sense of love and belonging while other people, no matter how hard they try, are always wondering if they’re good enough?

What makes the difference? Is it money? Opportunity? Talent? Intelligence? Beauty? Popularity? The number of likes, shares and followers on social media? What could it be?

self worth, The Secret to Confidence and Self Esteem

One thing makes all the difference

Researcher Brene Brown spent six years of intensive study to find the answer to this question and found that it all comes down to one single variable: a person’s belief of whether or not they’re worthy.

People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy.

“There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy… [T]he one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection…”

Brene Brown

The importance of feeling worthy

If we feel worthy of love and belonging, then we have a strong sense of love and belonging, but if we fear that we’re not worthy of love and belonging, then we always wonder if we’re good enough and we don’t feel like we’re loved or that we belong.

If you want to belong, if you want to feel loved, then you need to feel worthy of love and belonging.

The truth is you’re already worthy of love and belonging, that’s not the problem. The real challenge is believing it.